It is a great start - and covers one thing that the local group frequently talks about, how to figure out what to use and what to drop with less than the max number of players.
I have done a read through, and did up a map showing "ownership" so I have got visual reference.
2.1: Uses the term "owner" and "ownership". I am thinking that if this method is kept, that we must find some other term to use. The section has to currently point out that ownership doesn't really mean ownership

Maybe "association", or "linked", or something.
=> The idea to get across is not that these nations own these terrorities, but that if that particular nation is not in play, then dropping these terrorities gives a better border for nations which are naturally occuring neighbors. At least, that's the goal I would have it be

==> If no nations are in play, should the map board be empty? Right now, it's not....
I found some misspellings compared with the map, but I was not checking exhaustively spelling.
2.23: Caledonia is not listed anywhere; I think it should drop out when the Celts are not in play.
2.23: Northern Wastes is not listed anywhere. I am unsure if that's a bad thing or not. It borders with areas dropped with Celts and areas dropped with Hatti. Intutively, I would drop it with Celts myself, which is why I list it here.
2.23: The terrority Lugia is not capitalized.
2.28: The terrority Phoenicia is misspelled.
2.29: There is comma missing between Cyrene & Upper Egypt.
2.30: Ahmar is not listed in the section. With Nubia dropped out, you can't get to it, so I'd drop it with Nubia.
2.33: Persua is not listed in the section. With Persia dropped out, you can't get to it, so I'd drop it with Persia.
2.34: Listed Parthia, but there's only Western Parthia and Eastern Parthia. It also lists Central Asia as a terrority which is not on the map. Caspian Coast is not listed in this section; if Parthia is dropped out, it would be only accessible by water as all land bordering it would drop out. I would have it drop out with Parthia.
2.35: Misspelled Kalibangan.
2.37: Misspelled Nallas.
2.38: Eastern Himalaya isn't in this section. I would have it drop out with Maurya. The only time this is going to make a difference is if Kush/Kushan is in play and Maurya isn't... and it would look strange to have the Eastern Himalaya still in play.
* Matsya is never removed from play. If we drop it out, I'd assign it to at least the Indus, but it's also bordering Parthia and Maurya.
* Aria is never removed from play. I'm at a loss where to assign it between Parthia, Kush/Kushan and Indus.
* Susa is never removed from play. I'm at a loss where to assign it between Babylon, Parthia and Persia. It is two terrorites away from both Babylon and Persia's start area, so maybe it shouldn't be removed from play. Maybe it's a stranger rule: Remove from play if and only if both Babylon and Persia have been removed from play.
=> Overall, looks good and quite interesting.